Designing for Friends & Family - Do it? or Don't?
If you’ve been following along this month you’ll see that we’ve been talking all about boundaries.
One question I get all the time is, “Is it ever okay to work for a friend or family member?”
Many interior designers refuse to work for friends, family members or neighbors. Things can just get too sticky. But is there ever a time or scenario to say yes?
Especially when you’re first starting out, it can be a great portfolio starter. On the other hand, if you’re just starting out, you may be inexperienced with setting and keeping healthy boundaries. So let’s talk about how to have a successful project with someone close to you.
SHOULD YOU SAY YES?
First, there are a few questions I’d ask yourself to decide if you should say yes.
How much time do you already spend with this person? Is it your best friend or your fabulous aunt who lives a few hours away? If you already spend a significant amount of time with this person, you may reconsider. The worry is that all of a sudden the project is the only thing you talk about and you’ll feel like you’re always working.
(Being in the design phase of my own home renovation with my husband, I don’t have a choice, but I will tell you it’s hard to talk about anything else).
How much do you like this person? Obviously you want to work with people you like, but you need to realllllllly like this person and communicate well together. If I’m being honest, I have a big family but there is only one family member I’d work with (and I have). It was a wonderful experience and we plan to work together again soon.
How well do you trust this person? If you have an ounce of hesitancy about how your friend/family member may behave if there were to be a conflict, consider passing on the opportunity.
IF YOU SAY YES
If you’ve decided yes there are a few things I’d recommend doing at the outset of a project to ensure your relationship with your loved one stays solid. No one should ever let a relationship go to waste over a design project.
Establish how to communicate about the project - Your communication policies for your friends/family should be the exact same as your regular clients (no texting, weekend/evening meetings). But you need to strongly emphasize them with friends and family. Go a step further and ask for phone calls related to the project to be dedicated to ONLY talking about the project (so you can track time) and of course stick to business hours.
If you’re talking about the project with your bestie who then also wants to make travel plans for a girls weekend, ask her to hold off so you two can discuss over happy hour.
On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask them to avoid talking about the project when you’re just being friends (i.e. after hours).
Remind them of the Project Timeline - You can’t work on their project indefinitely so establish timelines just like you would any other project and stick to them.
Have an honest conversation on how to handle objections - The last thing you want is for issues to fester. The best way to handle sticky situations to make a vow that if anything comes up that feels hard, uncomfortable, or strains the relationship, you’ll pause, have an honest conversation, and come up with a plan moving forward so you both feel good. Even if it seems small, little things add up over time and can snowball if you don’t address them the moment they happen.
Be very modest with any discounts - If you want to pass on a friend/family discount, be all means, go ahead. I do. The problem is, the first time I did this for my services, I discounted myself way too steeply. If you’re hourly, $10/hr discount may not seem like much, but when you multiply that over 50-100 hours, that’s saving $500-$1000 for your loved one - money that could be in your bank account.
And for products, don’t give away all your profit. In addition to paying yourself, profit on product helps pad your project in case you need to cover the cost of a mistake or error that happens. #becausewearehuman
I hope this helps you make decisions working for friends, family, or neighbors. Honestly, some of my favorite projects have been with loved ones. It’s all about setting expectations and staying honest.
